汤圆

Dear Bloggie,

Today is the day where we eat 汤圆.. i went to visit my ma ma, gosh she is getting skinner hais... my heart aches but i cant express myself to her ba.. Ate my aunt cooked de 汤圆 was really similar but different from what my grandma made her's was superb but she is too weak to even cook now.Before i left she hugged me saying that the one she 疼most is me. i told her yes i know in her eyes was like asking me to stay longer with her but her mouth say go out and enjoy ba cause she and i know that her time is really getting limited. i told her i will visit her again de okie. deep down inside me, she is someone who really cared and doted me no matter how naughty i was when i was a child. actually i am also scared of losing her one day which nearly happen few mths ago at the hospital...

At that dreadful day, I was outfield in the jungle by chance with my cousin who was a officer in charge. Then out of the blue, he recieved a call from his mom asking us to rush to the hospital as soon as possible. My heart totally sank, i almost cried but i controlled.

My OC drive us to my cousin camp where he picked his car and drove as fast as he could to the hospital but when we reached the hospital we were told that we are not allowed to go cause both of us are covered with sand and dirt and she was in ICU.

We rushed all the way back home to have a quick shower before heading back.. During the car ride. My mind was flashing back to my childhood memories where i spend my time with my grandma, I kept praying that please dont take her away from me, In my mind and soul i pleaded.

The moment i went into the ward, i called out to her 奶奶 there was no reply. she was in a semi coma stage and i could not hold it anymore i cried. they ask me not to cry ask me to talk to her ask her about any last words but i could not the force myself seeing her in that state, my tears kept flowing non stop. I overheard that the doctors told my uncle that she couldnt live past that night.

My aunt called out to her saying that i am here already to see her. then she call out my name in a weakly tone. i walked towards her trying to control my feeling not to cry infront of her making her even more sad. she told me to be a good boy and must be filial to my parents. i told her not to worry i will at the same time taking care of my bro and sister, then my dad still ask me to ask her for her last words, i told him i cant do it.. she called out one by one of my relatives to speak to them.

Until its my grandpa turn. she told him that sorry she had to make a move first. I broke down even further. my grand uncle called out to her say please dont say such things. then a minute of silence broke out and she started saying " Ok i will keep fighting on" till today she is still fighting on, she's really a strong willed person. I know its a matter of time i crossed my finger as i blog at the same time tears are rolling down cheeks when i recalled this incident, it was really a experience for me and i learnt that life is really unpredictable so treasure your loved ones.

加油奶奶

Hope you get better each day okie.* prays

*wiping my tears

Good nite to all...